25 Dates in 25 Hours

Dear readers. Please forgive me for I have sinned. It's been five months since my last date, and truth be told, I don't miss it all that much. Which is probably why I've just agreed to do something rather foolish. But it's for charity, so bear with me.

This year marks the 25th anniversary of Red Nose Day, and to commemorate the occasion, comedian and masochist Mark Watson has decided to embark on another one of his trademark epic stand up gigs, this time a 25 hour gig. Lord. Needless to say when Mark hinted to me to get involved, I may have shot my mouth off a little too soon with 'yeah alright, shall I do a mini version of 52 First Dates but in 25 hours? Yeah why not!' 

...and THEN thought long and hard about it. And maybe regretted it. Maybe.

Well it's too late now - I'm in for the long haul, quite literally. To be honest, I was never going to run the marathon for charity, the idea of sitting in a bath of beans for 25 hours whilst people are still starving is a little tasteless, and there's no way on God's earth I could be persuaded to do anything involving planes, ropes or mountains. But over the last 2 years I appear to have refined the art of making small talk with random strangers, so a sponsored date-a-thon it is. 25 dates with 25 random people in 25 hours. Endurance dating. My parents will be so proud.

The big main event itself takes place at the delightful Pleasance Theatre in Islington and will be streamed live on t'interweb and t'radio and t'stuff starting at 11pm on Thursday 28th of Feb 2013 and running through to midnight on Friday 1st March. During that time, I have to have been on all of my allotted dates and survived. Mostly.

'How can I get involved?' I hear you cry! Well, funny you should ask! There are a few possible options (quite frankly all of which are easier than mine so help a sister out here).

You can take your pick from...

MENU A - The easy option - sponsor me by clicking here! (or by texting "DATE52 £5" to 70070)

I don't need to tell you how bloody awesome the work of Comic Relief is (but I will - helping literally millions of people worldwide is no mean feat, and having done a lot of work for the organisation myself, I've seen where this money goes and it's, quite frankly, awesome), so even if you can spare just a couple of quid for this amazing charity please please do. And of course don't forget to Gift Aid it, etc etc. Plus, the more money I raise for my bit of the challenge, the more 'good date' I promise to give. Promise. Although nothing that involves baseball analogies, thanks. Naughty.

MENU B - The fun option - buy a ticket and come along to the gig! 

Mark and co. will need all the moral support they can get, so be a sport, become part of something epic and come along for the event. It's literally a pound an hour for 25 hours worth of gig - even in this triple dip recession I think you'll all agree that's value for money. Don't worry, they won't gaffer tape you to the chair for the entire duration, I believe there might be a supervised wee break. Maybe.

MENU C - The lazy option - follow the dates live via my Twitter feed

Go on, follow me, and tweet me words of support, suggestions of how to make the dates more interesting and abuse if you're so inclined! This way you can keep up to date with the proceedings and bask in the knowledge that whilst you're probably curled up in bed watching re-runs of New Girl I'm struggling to string a sentence together in the hope of vaguely impressing a real life human man. I'll be tweeting updates after every date so you can not only meet my wonderful(ly brave) beaus throughout the event, but you'll get to witness real life human deterioration of both mind and body in the name of a good cause. Mine, that is. Double win! 

MENU D - The brave option - be one of my dates! 

I'm really going to need your help with this one. I'm going to need dates. Twenty five of them. Are you single? You do have to be - I don't want to be a sitting duck for If it's not you, then perhaps your single male friend who's always up for the craic and maybe doesn't have anything better to do at 4am on a Friday morning would be one. My dates would only have to endure my delirious self for between as little as ten minutes and probably no more than 45 minutes probably at the theatre itself, potentially at some sort of anti-social hour, and if you're lucky enough to catch me in the dying hours of this 25 hour marathon, you might get to bear witness to some sort of apoplectic breakdown of gargantuan proportions. I know what you're thinking...sexy. It would be super awesome if some of my dates had an idea of something fun to do that wasn't just talking (in the event I lose the power of speech), so if you fancy teaching me samba, backgammon, take me on at a thumb war, explain the history of origami or ANYTHING that might be a bit fun and different, that would be swell. So what are you waiting for? Be part of something extra-ordinary (or extra-ordinarily weird) and email me. I'm CTS by the way, pleased to meet you. 

I'm the one on the right

Is that it? That was easy. I'm going to have to do this now aren't I? Bugger...